HALT! (hungry, angry, lonely, tired)


I was sitting at the table with Micaire last night talking about our day and respective challenges.

I told her about how Charly screamed her version of "Dad" at me the whole time I cooked dinner.

It sounds like "DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!"

It's intense.

She has been listening to a book about the developing mind of children and shared what she had learned about babies and meltdowns.

There is this nifty little acronym to help simplify the reasons that it was happening.

Each letter represents one of the 4 reasons that babies freak out.

That acronym is HALT





Perhaps that sounds obvious. Perhaps not.

Then then said, "aren't those the same reasons that adults meltdown?"

The answers are so simple for babies.

Are the answers truly anymore complicated for adults?

I think the answer is no.

If your answer is yes, then what has led to this overcomplicating of needs?

Something to think about I guess.

Just like babies there are two types of communication too.

-Cries for help. (melting down)

-Loving responses. (everything else)

Cries for help always mean that a need isn't being met.

True story.

Think about your typical day.

How many times do you observe people (directly or indirectly) crying out for help?

How many times are those same cries met with other cries for help?

Think of an intense argument that isn't going anywhere.

One person says "My needs aren't being met!"

Person two responds, "Well, my needs aren't being met!"

Neither willing to compromise.

Maybe one is hungry?




And what could they be hungry for?

Why are they angry?

Surrounded by people and utterly alone?

Tired of what?

Can you notice the person in a different way?

Are they really that different from you?

Perhaps, just like you, their needs are not getting met.

Everyone has needs.

Here is the question of the day.

What do you need?

After you answer it, ask someone in your life the same thing.


Actually care about the answer.

Do you think you can do that?

Of course you can.

Some talk to you in their free time, and some free up their time to talk to you.

This is your First Wakeup.


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My 9/11 Story

I was on a nuclear submarine in the Indian Ocean about 6 hours away from the Suez Canal the day the attacks took place.

Whatever it is, you can Google it.

YOU BETTER ADJUST YOUR ATTITUDE! This is a common phrase we hear growing up as kids. And one that doesn't generally come with an instruction manual. I spent 20 years in the Navy and there was a manual


Honolulu, Hawaii, USA

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©2020 Ryan Charaba - First Wakeups LLC